TOTOTOOTZ
Sunday, 22 August 2010
yesterday i did something i've never did before in my life. i still cant believe i actually did that . i dunno how can i actually face you now .

what is in your mind ?

why do i get this kind of feeling that i need to see you everyday.

i'm addicted... to you.


Thursday, 12 August 2010
in the past .. i would never imagine myself with a prc. but now, i ask myself ... if one suddenly comes in and gives you that feeling that i've for some time forgotten how that feeling felt again.. would i consider to give it a go..

many factors, like .. PRC , $$ , heart, time, commitment, job, family.

i used to depise prc... but now .. i wonder..

local and export .. both are human .. but why do i depise them ? maybe its the irritating accent that they have ?

do i still depise them ? you've given me a different perception.

sometimes, i think i prefer to stay in my safe zone .. so when its time to part .. there wouldnt be much damage done. how long can i go on...

i wanna love wholeheartly but i dont want to feel the pain anymore.


help.


Wednesday, 11 August 2010
i blog is in a mess. ugly photo , no music , lousy wallpaper...

there's someone i remember that used to help me update my photos , music , and deco my blogg... but DAMN !! WHO ARE YOU!!!

Why cant i remember!!!!!!


ARGH!


i wanna know all the answers!!

i wanna crack the case!!

on second thought , if its true .. then maybe you're not gonna make a fantastic gf anyway .. sometimes you talk about you a very decent person .. dont sleep over .. or whatever..


well, somethings if were to spill out.. its not so nice anymore . so. :) good luck to whoever . actually , yes.. i do feel a lil upset .. maybe its because the amount of time that we wasted on each other. So now, i can start to understand myself a lil .. stop always lying to myself this and that, because i know , it doesnt really bother me anymore .

But before i let my hand go, i just hope for some truth in you.


Saturday, 7 August 2010
today is saturday ... and i'm dying of boredom . my ciggies are running low ... my alcohol tank is dried and fried to the max, and the worst thing is ... i cant go out . WTF!!!!!

cant believe i can blog 3 -4 days in a row .. cannot remember ..


anway, i cant take it anymore .. i'll sneak out tonight.

8pm.
ken : i go downstairs buy things ah!!!
dad : cannot lah . your leg like that how to go down....
ken : i can lahhh.
dad : you want to buy cigeratte is it!!!
ken : ya la ya lah!!!
dad : i HELP U BUY LAH!
ken : .....
ken : nvm lahh.. i try go down myself ..
dad : okok .. you be careful ah..


WTH ! Dad offer to help me buy my ciggies!!! LOL


jailed.

one leg broken = cannot go out . = bored to death!

i dont care already, i'll rest till tuesday and i'm out to here!!!!


Thursday, 5 August 2010
gonna be discharge later in the day .. around 1pm i think?

physio say i gonna go through hell when i walk the 4 storeys of stairs later.. die lah . stress. 4 days nv shit ... 2 days nv bathe . wanna faster go home mann.

today v flying off to nz already . hmmm, she also evil . nv come see me. haha . but i understand lah . she got tell me beforehand le . anyway vv, enjoy your short trip there k. throw all your unhappy memories there and then faster come back already k. actually i'm still surprised that you meeting the ' plush friend ' there. lol.

I WANNA SHIT . FASTER DISCHARGE ME! . Hospital Toliet sucks btw.


Wednesday, 4 August 2010
800 years since i blog .. i hope this has become a forgotten blog so no one would bother to read it .

its my last night in hospital .. life with cruthes sucks. no drinks anymore for the month.
well, these 3 days in hospital , have been thinking a lot .. bout friends, bout love , bout one nights , bout relationships...

well , you said you would come to accompany me during my stay in the hospital .. but last min .. you say you helping your friend with some kind of job . well, is it really so important.. maybe if there's really love .. you would have chose to be by my side ... all i need is someone there to accompany me when im at my lowest point . but you were nv there.. instead .. its always someone else. i really dont know why my heart beats towards you , always thinking of you , always prioritying you even u dont know .

maybe all these should stop , i really should come back to my senses already .. if you're really the one .. you wouldnt have stop contacting me for so long . so, your last chance is sunday. if you still fail to keep up to your promises.. maybe youu wouldnt hear from me anymore.

is there anyhow out there knows how i feel ? why do i even wanna go through all these.



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